Monday, October 12, 2009

you never leave me alone

Oh CF, how i wish you would leave me alone. Please just give me some space. You are with me every moment of the day and honestly i think i would be a lot happier if you left me alone.

When i eat you insist on joining me even though we both know you are not welcome; but like a fool i just let you invade my space.

Then there are those morning when honestly all i wanna do is nothing. but there you are making things hard unless i sit down and pay you some attention. About an hour is what you like...id be very happy if it was only 10min. but like a fool i just do what you ask

My biggest issue is when i breathe there isn't any reason for you to add that little wheeze or a rattle just so i know your there. i mean its not necessary. Cant a girl just breath with out you trying to acknowledge your presence.

Trust me everyone around here knows that you and i are a pair.

I cant even sleep with out you reminding me. right now all i smell is "that" smell. the dreaded vanilla...couldn't you of at least given me options? like strawberry or chocolate, but instead its vanilla...borrriinnng

Oh CF, your not boring you have great timing too, you know exactly when your not wanted and then as fast as you know it here you come...maybe a little sinus issues, some chest pain and when your feeling really awesome you give me a little blood in the sputum. How i love those. your so creative CF

I hate to say it CF but I'm looking forward to the day when i can be me....and just me. no offense i never really liked you anyway plus to be honest you cramp my style.

late night stuff

its funny because sometimes i suprise myelf and the things i know. I know what is right and what is wrong, i know what is selfish and what is selfless. I was never taught anything by anyone other then my parents. What was acceptable behavior as a young woman and as a friend. What to wear so people understand who you are and not what you wear. But at that same time i have been taught to be an individual that the only thing that defines a person is honestly that person. I can dress a certain way, talk a certain way but in the end its all me. my point is...dosent matter how hard you try, i can see through the fakeness you call your life. I see that smile is really a frown but someone told you to always look like everything is fine. your a fake. but so am I. See you fake how happy you are and me i fake that i actually care. Why would i care about you when all i am to you is a joke? you and i have nothing in common, you chose education, i chose life experiences. you chose convience i chose love. I have happieness and you my dear have the ugly truth looking at you everywhere you turn, you probably feel sorry for me thinking how pitiful it is im not you but honestly i wouldnt want to be you.

Now my mother taught me if you dont have anything nice to say then dont say anything at all. And unlike you i respect other and what they believe in

Thursday, October 8, 2009

BFB 09

http://www.cff.org/LWC/JessicaBenson
Check it out! lets donate!!!!!

 

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