Hey dad

 Hey dad. Remember that time I was sick and you crawled in bed with me and held me so tight that I wasn’t scared. 

I remember being so comforted by your presence and your calmness. You stay cool under pressure and I did not get that from you. lol, sorry mom. I remember the whole process scary and daunting. I don’t think I ever realized how sick I was until it was to late. I remember calling you before being treached, you were so calm. Saying you would be there as soon as you could. I barely remember that call. It came back to me after the fact. But before I was put on the vent, you weren’t there. And I’m glad you didn’t experience that. I remember the first time seeing you after the transplant. You sneaked in, and although I couldn’t tell you I was thrilled to see your face in those yellow gowns. Yellow isn’t a good color on you btw. I smiled so big. I was in pain and unhappy but your face is so bright and vivid in that memory 

Daddy’s little fighter is what you use to say in updates and texts. And although I didn’t think I was that strong I surely proved myself wrong, but looking back I had it in me long long before. 

Hey Dad. Remember when I was in the hospital and you would come down and spend some time just the two of us. It was always my favorite cause I usually had your attention. We would go for walks. And the one time we broke out and went to get ice cream. Oxygen and all. 

Little did we know in a matter of months we were fighting for our lives, that hospital stay was a struggle. I started using oxygen full time and my home address was in San Diego. Not at home with you. But we still managed to have our dates just with an oxygen tag along 

Some times I don’t know how i got through that time Dad. As much as I was your “little fighter” I was tired. But a miracle happened 

Tears rolling down my face as I wrote this. It’s another Father’s Day I get to celebrate you. I thank my donor every day because I just don’t know how to live without you and thankfully I never have to worry about that again hopefully for a long time. 

 I love you daddy always have and always will. You will forever be my number one guy. The first love is a daughter and her father. And how lucky am I, that God saw me and knew I belonged with you. 

My mama

  My mama is my rock. Someone who isn’t even a 0.1 % replaceable. My mom is better than yours. There isn’t a point in arguing that with me because I have seen my mom go beyond measures to keep me alive.  Not even happy. Just alive and breathing. I have seen the fear and worry in her eyes as the light faded from my face but I never saw her step away from the roll she was destined to be. A mama.  I always worried if something happened to me how would he still be a mama to Aaron. And as I sit and think about that sentence in pure logic. That’s who she is. She was born to be a mama and nothing could take that away from her. She is a natural. Everyone is her child. I have seen her mother countless “strays” but always the same she gets attached and loves them and they love her back because they never had a mama like her. She’s kind. To a fault. Smart to the point where you have to take a Second look at her because you’re just amazed. Funny. She will make you laugh so hard that you cry. Just her being her. And I love when we have those moments. Those are the core memories where I step back and thank god. I thank god for giving me back to my mom whole and new. I thank god for giving her the strength to love me and raise me unconditionally and in my opinion to be a pretty rad human. That she’s my favorite person who I never seem to get tired of. When I lived in the hospital she made that drive and put a smile on her face everyday just to see me smile knowing so much was against us but that smile every day walking through the door gave me life and hope. I knew what I was facing but if my mom could walk in with that beautiful smile I knew we were okay. Her and I would get through this together side by side and like I hoped only made us stronger and closer. Maybe with some trauma but what’s a little trauma between family. So tonight I’m laying in bed thinking about my worst days and remembering the shining light who loved me through life and death. My mama. My mother. My mom. My best friend who’s my ride or die. To my mom; We made it together and you make me proud everyday. Stay sassy. Stay rageful. Stay amazing And you will always have the love of a daughter who thinks the world revolves around you. 

 Xoxoxo

Dear Aaron

Dear Aaron. 

Today is national sibling day. So it’s just another day to celebrate you. Not that I need another reason but I’ll take it. 

Aaron. Everyday you amaze me, you’re strong smart witty and have the most caring heart. You make me proud ever dang day…sometimes it’s frustrating how perfect you are but then I remember how lucky Iam to be on the receiving side of so much you do. Not because I ask but because it seems like your goal is to make my life special. And you succeed at it daily by just being you. being your sister makes me proud of the man you are. The husband you will be. 

I remember after my transplant how attentive you were and I kinda thought maybe after I got outta the woods things would change but you are still as attentive as ever. Making sure I’m doing my best and encouraging me every day.  Making sure I’m okay mentally and physically 

Being proud of you is nothing new. I always was proud to be your sister long before Cf came into the our world. But after you stepped up. Always watching me and on the background trying to find your place but the minute I called on you, you stepped up right to the front where I needed you and where our family needed you and i know that wasn’t an easy task to ask of a young man. 

So I celebrate you just a little extra today with joy in my heart to be your sister and for you to be my best friend. Not everyone has that luxury with their siblings so it’s something I cherish. Just like I cherish you. 

Aaron aka dragon. 

 Thank you