quick update

just a quick update on my day, it started out super early, It was another trip to CF clinic which is in Panorama. It was a nice visit but mostly we decided that depending on what the echo cardiogram shows is going depend on how we treat how iv been feeling. One option is another bronch. I'm not completely freaked out but the bad thing is i have to be completely sedated cause the 1st time we tried i gave them all a scare and held my breath...silly me!!! ha ha

 well Matthew is on his way here and were going to go to dinner with some friends of ours.

I have pictures to post tonight!

 

I think i found my wedding location. Matthew, my Mother and I spent the day at the Wild Animal Park, we met with a wedding coordinator and sat down and talked numbers and i think its due-able. IM EXCITED!!! October of 2010.

 thats all the details im leaking so far...

   maybe in the coming days i'll disclose more....maybe

 goodnight all

 x00xx0

lets hope,

Lets hope for a good weekend, lots of rain and lots or warm blankets and hot chocolate.

 One thing about me is i have a weird blanket obsession. I have so many blankets i don't know where to keep them, nothing makes me feel better then a soft warm cozy hello kitty blanket...and when i feel really bad...any blanket is good. also my stuffed moose named cookie. Yes I'm 22years old and still have a stuff animal. but then again...I'm not a normal 22 year old

 ill post some pictures this weekend, i hope.

 goodnight all!

 x0x0x

just for you daddy

" I cannot think of any need in Childhood as strong as the need for a fathers protection

  - Sigmund Freud
"My Son is a son till he has a wife,But my daughter's my daughter all the days of her life"

    -Thomas Fuller

I'll always be a daddy's girl. I might take many different paths in life but 1 thing is true, he had my heart first and will always have my heart. forever.

 goodnight all

 <3>

today

today as i celebrated my 22nd birthday so many things go through my mind. I remember when i was just so young and 22 seemed so old. I think of all my family iv grown up with and the ones who have recently came into my life. They all have such great significance in my life, everyone of them. I recently spent some time with my cousin Rob and his daughter Angel...she is a doll. I had a blast playing with her and i also got to ride a horse with her...which is a huge passion of mine and i got to share it with my baby cousin Angel. Any who, today is my birthday and i feel nothing ;Its just another day. Even though its according to my mom "my special day" Don't get me wrong it was good day i just don't feel like I have a whole lot to celebrate right now.I posted some pic's from my weekend. I will leave you with a quote, i believe it speaks a lot of honesty. So tell your family you love them. I love my family.

     enjoy everyone 

 

"Our most basic instinct is not for survival but for family. Most of us would give our own life for a survival of a family member, yet we lead our daily life too often as if we take our family for granted." -Paul Pearshallfg

 

The Appointment...

the doctor appointment went well. I was glad my dad came along. Usually its just me and my mom and i feel kinda bad when i sleep in the car and leave her alone. Anyways my weight was good 105!!! YAY They did a chest x-ray to look at my lungs, they were curious to see the change that happens with CF and also to check and see if i had Phneumothorax or any signs of one.

My Doctor also sent out some referrals, one to the pulmonary rehab, endocrinologist and the E.N.T and also to have an Echo Heart test thingy done i guess were checking to make sure i don't have pulmonary hypertension.

 So that's what the doctor had to say, a really good appointment I'm just waiting to hear from everyone else and get the ball rolling to see whats up with my sugars and my heart.

 Good night everyone...sorry it took me so long to update

Beyond Breathing...

After Christmas i sat down and read this book, I enjoyed it very much. 

I read as many stories as i can about family's and CF i feel like it prepares me. I find the strength in Margarete just so over whelming. I found myself wiping away a tear and doing what she said just breath.

 I enjoyed this book and would recommend it to anyone who is willing to read an amazing story. I finished it on a Tuesday and on Wednesday I found myself saying hello to Jena as she sent me a gift from heaven. A penny facing heads up. I smiled and knew this was from her. 

Tomorrow is my doctor appointment, not exactly looking forward to it. I think I'm going to be dealing with my CFRD my sugar tonight after my dinner was pushing 250 =(

 well have to go to bed now, or at least try. 

goodnight everyone

 wish me luck!

i did a bad thing

I taught my Dog, Bently how to sit on the chair. He is a crack up and now jumps up whenever he feels like he needs to be at the table. Its the cutest thing iv ever seen...but i can for see us coming home and him laying on the table. And when that happens I'm going to be in BIG trouble! 

I go to the doctor on Thursday in Panorama city. I'm still on iv's 4x a day. I feel bad for my mother who does 4 outta the 5 medicine. Our day Starts at 8am where she comes in and unhooks me from my feedings. Mixes the iv,run it for about 30 min. then come back and push 10cc of saline. then at 4 we do another round. then at 8 we do a Tobi bottle. Then in the evening my Dad takes the night shift and runs the 12pm round of medicine. That's juts Iv schedule. That's not including the 2 breathing treatments in the AM and the vest for at least 30 min and then another 3 breathing treatments and 30 min of vest.

 that's a normal day for me and my family right now. start at 8am and go until 12:30am

so, good night all.

 x0x0x

bad bad day

well, i had a bad morning. which started at 12:30 (I'am a late sleeper) I woke up to this feeling of gurggling in my lungs and if you know that feeling its kinda scary. So i get up to use the lady's room and then i do the normal...spit and look. well its blood.

 blood.

i hate coughing up blood. it freaks me out. so i get my phone call my dad who is at work and i say "Dad, whats that 1 thing i don't want when i coughed up blood?"

 he says if its coagulated.

OH CRAP! i think that's what I'm coughing up.

I get a cup sit on the floor and hold my cup and cough hold my cup and cough. i look down blood.

against my better judgment i decided to call my doctor. took my cup of blood and went and sat on the couch.

After the doctor calls we decide that the plan of action is Vitamin K and anymore blood we go to the E.R. room.

 so now its the game i love to play.

     waiting. 

Happy Birthday!!!

Happy 1st birthday Gwyneth Rose! Pink and brown just for you my love~

  Jessica in pink (with pink hair) and My mother is in brown.

What is weird is subconsciously we choose these colors not knowing the meaning of them until later in the day. But we wore them proud. Happy birthday.

  Jessica & Family

well...

My hubby is going to kill me, but i feel it is important to have a good laptop to blog, so i bought one :} i bought a mac book. So now i have no reason why i shouldn't blog cause everyone seems to use my desktop. So this is my gift to all my blogging buddy's out there

 ill update later

 xox0

good Day

every Tuesday's is a good day. Always spent with the ones i love, my cousins my brother and even my love; Matthew. I enjoy the time with my brother...when we can talk and he can be silly and funny. he is awesome. i do love him so very much.

  I'm well tonight, tired its late late but thought id check up on Phenny man and see how everyone else is doing in cyber world. Nothing important to write about. but no news is good news

 bye for now

one day in 2008

One of my favorite days in 2008 was spending the day with my Cousin, Richard. He took me on an adventure that sometimes when i fall asleep i still remember the feeling of being high in the sky and the rush. It's something that iv tried to put into words many many times but never could. It definitely made me want to be a police officer and ride around and...wow just a blast. After that one trip, that great adventure; I have such a great appreciation for everyone who watches over us and keep us safe.

 I'm going to make one of my new year resolutions to blog more so i figured id start with giving you some high lights of the great things in my past. 

 take care all, stay warm.

also

here is the best thing ever

 aaron my brother got his first neck tattoo and i'm sure your saying "omg" but that isnt just anything on his neck that is a purple rose for his baby sister. he is awesome so before you go thinkin he looks like a thug, hes the greatest person anyone could have in there lives, thankfully, he's my brother and my best friend

 love you bub

 

well...

well lately i'am at a lost for words, but i started out 2009 with 1 feeling "blessed."

 im blessed for my family who love me

 im blessed for my friends who are real

 im blessed to find

 the love of my life

 im blessed to be alive.

im thankful for every day 

 simply stated, i'am blessed.