I always talk about the moments when my disease takes a back seat and for an hour or maybe two I feel normal. Those hours or even moments keep me sane.
Sometimes I feel that I come off weak. But really I'm just real. I'm honest with you about my emotions and the hard things I struggle with. I'm real because no matter what happens this disease is real and no matter how weak I get at times I thankfully always find my feet and get back to standing my ground.
Having a bad weekend doesn't effect just me but everyone. Waiting on pins and needles to see if today was better then yesterday but we hope not worse then tomorrow. I hate that part but it's real. The emotions are real the fear is real. It all is real.
Sometimes I find myself dazing off into thought about the simplicity of what life would be like to be CF free. I wonder tho if I knew what it was like would I miss it more?
Let me stop on my ramblings for a moment and let me say my peace about a tragedy that has accrued in my home town. We lost an amazing man 27 years old and he passed away suddenly of a ruptured aorta. His name was Jeremy and even tho him and I were never close it breaks my heart to see a family mourning such a huge loss. The community has come together and wrapped everyone in love and it's beautiful. So beautiful it makes me proud. I can't speak on a religious note saying god needed him or whatever you say. I just know its sad to see someone as loved as Jeremy to pass but it really reminds us of how important it is to love the ones in your life and tell them. I can't speak on behalf of Jeremy but I bet he's proud of how everyone has come together in this time. It says a lot about Jeremy and the legacy and love he leaves behind.
"Many a smiling face hides a mourning heart; but grief alone teaches us what we are." -Friedrich Von Schiller
Peace love and hello kitty.
Xoxox
