Is it okay?

Is it okay?

Is it okay to not feel good?

Is it okay that I just want a break from being sick?

Is it okay I feel like screaming at the thought of another round of ivs?

Is it okay that I feel like I can't handle being sick again?

Is it okay if I just want a break from everything cf related?

Is it okay if I cough so hard I throw up and cry?

Is it okay that I cried cause today you would of been 18?

Is it okay that since you have been gone I have no desire to fight like I use to?

Is it ok to just cry at the friendship we would of had and the memories we would of made together?

In these tears I cry for you I cry for everything you were and everything you could have been. I cry for the things you never got to experience and the awful things you did experience. The pain you left and the love you left behind

It's okay to miss you and cry for you cause I know I'll see you one day. Maybe in heaven or maybe in my dreams but someday we will meet again and that brings me what little joy I have tonight to the surface. 

103 days

How is it that in 103 days I'll marry my best friend? We have been waiting 7 years to plan this joyous occasion and it is going to be here sooner then we realize. We just registered today and even though we are planning on staying with my parents for a little after we get married it was a challenge to register but it was fun. It made the whole process real. We're moving along in the whole process the next big thing to tackle is invitations. Wish us luck. 

 Xoxo