Tuesday, September 25, 2012
My normal life
I'm full of mucus. It comes out in amounts that are frightening and it never seems to happen at the right time usually in the middle of a sentence I get that cough with projectile mucus that will take no mercy on your clothes, car or purse my mucus has no boundaries. It comes and attacks poor innocent people. It's like it feels the presence of fearful people and attacks. If it wasn't enough to spew mucus like a monster the cough is a whole other story. I make elderly people run in the opposite direction. The stares are my personal favorite. Nothing feels better then the over the shoulder stare as I'm grasping for breathe. Humanity at its best everyone. It never gets old. But fear not my friends I find it sad that stares and forceful smiles are what I attract but in reality all I'm trying to do is live my life as normal as possible and sadly all of the above is normal to me. Goodnight all xoxox
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Gibber jabber and mourning
I always talk about the moments when my disease takes a back seat and for an hour or maybe two I feel normal. Those hours or even moments keep me sane.
Sometimes I feel that I come off weak. But really I'm just real. I'm honest with you about my emotions and the hard things I struggle with. I'm real because no matter what happens this disease is real and no matter how weak I get at times I thankfully always find my feet and get back to standing my ground.
Having a bad weekend doesn't effect just me but everyone. Waiting on pins and needles to see if today was better then yesterday but we hope not worse then tomorrow. I hate that part but it's real. The emotions are real the fear is real. It all is real.
Sometimes I find myself dazing off into thought about the simplicity of what life would be like to be CF free. I wonder tho if I knew what it was like would I miss it more?
Let me stop on my ramblings for a moment and let me say my peace about a tragedy that has accrued in my home town. We lost an amazing man 27 years old and he passed away suddenly of a ruptured aorta. His name was Jeremy and even tho him and I were never close it breaks my heart to see a family mourning such a huge loss. The community has come together and wrapped everyone in love and it's beautiful. So beautiful it makes me proud. I can't speak on a religious note saying god needed him or whatever you say. I just know its sad to see someone as loved as Jeremy to pass but it really reminds us of how important it is to love the ones in your life and tell them. I can't speak on behalf of Jeremy but I bet he's proud of how everyone has come together in this time. It says a lot about Jeremy and the legacy and love he leaves behind.
"Many a smiling face hides a mourning heart; but grief alone teaches us what we are." -Friedrich Von Schiller
Peace love and hello kitty.
Xoxox
Sometimes I feel that I come off weak. But really I'm just real. I'm honest with you about my emotions and the hard things I struggle with. I'm real because no matter what happens this disease is real and no matter how weak I get at times I thankfully always find my feet and get back to standing my ground.
Having a bad weekend doesn't effect just me but everyone. Waiting on pins and needles to see if today was better then yesterday but we hope not worse then tomorrow. I hate that part but it's real. The emotions are real the fear is real. It all is real.
Sometimes I find myself dazing off into thought about the simplicity of what life would be like to be CF free. I wonder tho if I knew what it was like would I miss it more?
Let me stop on my ramblings for a moment and let me say my peace about a tragedy that has accrued in my home town. We lost an amazing man 27 years old and he passed away suddenly of a ruptured aorta. His name was Jeremy and even tho him and I were never close it breaks my heart to see a family mourning such a huge loss. The community has come together and wrapped everyone in love and it's beautiful. So beautiful it makes me proud. I can't speak on a religious note saying god needed him or whatever you say. I just know its sad to see someone as loved as Jeremy to pass but it really reminds us of how important it is to love the ones in your life and tell them. I can't speak on behalf of Jeremy but I bet he's proud of how everyone has come together in this time. It says a lot about Jeremy and the legacy and love he leaves behind.
"Many a smiling face hides a mourning heart; but grief alone teaches us what we are." -Friedrich Von Schiller
Peace love and hello kitty.
Xoxox
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
A little about me you might not know
I always tell you about the things I struggle with. Let me tell you about other things in my life.
I'm a really good daughter. At least in my opinion. I'm a decent sister. A pretty handy niece and a good cousin. I'm an okay friend. It depends on what day you catch me on. I have never had good luck with friendships really.
I'm a really great shopper. I'm great at clearing an isle especially if elderly people are hovering to long. I just cough a couple times then bam they disappear. Same with Moms with small kids.
I'm an amazing car dancer/DJ.
I can get groovy in the car like no ones business and I hate to say it but I have amazing taste in music. My music ranges from tupac to hall and oats. Eminem to Clapton. I'm hard core like that.
I love to get my craft on. I have learned from my fiance's mom how to quilt so I'm trying my luck at that.
I like to scrapbook I have 7 books starting from my first date with Matthew. We are going on 7 years it's crazy to see how much we have grown.
A lot of things come easy to me. Some things more then others. I have really enjoyed my role as an "aunt" they aren't my niece and nephew they're actually my cousins but I like Aunt better. Dodi to be exact. I love being Dodi (Hebrew for Aunt) it's an amazing feeling to love another human being in that way. It's unexplainable. But it's amazing
I know I tend to blog at my hardest moments and I don't want you to think that's all Im it's actually the complete opposite.
Peace love and hello kitty to all! Xoxox
I'm a really good daughter. At least in my opinion. I'm a decent sister. A pretty handy niece and a good cousin. I'm an okay friend. It depends on what day you catch me on. I have never had good luck with friendships really.
I'm a really great shopper. I'm great at clearing an isle especially if elderly people are hovering to long. I just cough a couple times then bam they disappear. Same with Moms with small kids.
I'm an amazing car dancer/DJ.
I can get groovy in the car like no ones business and I hate to say it but I have amazing taste in music. My music ranges from tupac to hall and oats. Eminem to Clapton. I'm hard core like that.
I love to get my craft on. I have learned from my fiance's mom how to quilt so I'm trying my luck at that.
I like to scrapbook I have 7 books starting from my first date with Matthew. We are going on 7 years it's crazy to see how much we have grown.
A lot of things come easy to me. Some things more then others. I have really enjoyed my role as an "aunt" they aren't my niece and nephew they're actually my cousins but I like Aunt better. Dodi to be exact. I love being Dodi (Hebrew for Aunt) it's an amazing feeling to love another human being in that way. It's unexplainable. But it's amazing
I know I tend to blog at my hardest moments and I don't want you to think that's all Im it's actually the complete opposite.
Peace love and hello kitty to all! Xoxox
