Tuesday, July 5, 2011

fight for your right to be "normal"


I'm an odd person having CF in the first place puts you off to a bad start in the "normal" category. There are times when I can be very independent and self sufficient and times when I'm needy and just plain useless. I can be everything I hate; rude short disrespectful and down right mean. I literally can be anything I choose to be. (thanks dad you were right) I struggle at times to be true to me and when Cf grabs hold of me I fight back. But there are times when it wins the battle but not the war.

My battles are constant damn near never ending. If it's not one thing it's another, but to many of my warriors out there this is nothing new to us it simply is the normal in our crazy mixed up lives.

We fight for the most basic instinct; to live. While others just waste away in life we fight to exist

Normal? Who wants to be normal when you can fight and give 'em hell.

Saturday, July 2, 2011

walking twoards a better day

I wrote this a week ago

Days like today make me grateful. Grateful for the air in my lungs the ability to put one foot in front of the other and walk. Walk towards better times leaving the emotional "funk" behind. Eating lunch with my girls gabbing about nonsense but at the same time a moment I will never forget. A real chance at happiness for myself and for others who aren't here with me physically but emotionally.

I see so clearly today when god takes a life he gives life. I don't feel like everything he does is just and has cause but maybe today I understand how this whole thing works. I find comfort In being able to see my baby "cousin" someday grow, but for now I watch baby bean take form and get life and that makes me happy. Makes me feel complete.

 

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