Tuesday, December 30, 2008


rest in peace Myka
  Breathe easy

Not much to say, mourning the loss of another true fighter. 
Granted i never knew Myka, but there is a feeling of loss.

This is a sad day.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

It's been a while

It's been a while since i wrote, sorry everyone.
 I started IVs...I'm not feeling well. Had a couple bad nights coughed up some blood, started IVs and now it's just getting use to the time schedule now. Thank fully so far it's only 3x a day, but that could change. I'm hoping this will all work out good and maybe i can go a lil while without the juice.

Things are shitty other wise;family drama. It never seems to fail that at some point drama can ruin the whole Christmas spirit. Sadly Christmas this year will be different for me in many ways some good some bad. Some I'm looking forward to and well some I'm....dreading. I get to spend Christmas eve with my new family the Fisher's and my other family is well....let's say turmoil is putting it lightly. This year i gained new family but at the same time...I lost family.

Family quarrels are bitter things. They don't go by any rules. They're not like aches or wounds; they're more like splits in the skin that won't heal because there's not enough material
 -f. Scott Fitzerald 

thats all for now x0x0x

Monday, December 1, 2008

As i get older

As I get older I realize that taking care of yourself is ALOT of work. How just the help of a mom or dad is a huge factor. I'm starting to  be 100% independent and people, it isn't easy. I applaud all of you who do it so well. How do you handle the transition? I'm struggling, and I'm not sure why i have such a struggle with this issue. Don't get me wrong i do my treatment's make my pills make doctor appointments everything but when I am in the position to slack I do. I try not to be a burden to anyone around me and i feel that is my downfall. 

On an update notice i had an appointment in Santa Clarita with my Infectious Disease doctor and a lot is depending on some tests I had done. mostly the A1c and hopefully that will come back and show that my 90 day isn't to bad. I feel in my heart of heart's that I'm destined to have CFRD its just a matter of time.  
 Today was a good day and I'm thankful regardless of what the tests show. 
  but  just in case keep your fingers crossed for low numbers ;)

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