Into 2025 with a bang

Maybe this wasn’t a year where everything and everyone came out on top, but we survived. Some did better than others but that’s okay. We made it 

I’m learning as I get older and life progresses and everyone ages, surviving is a great accomplishment. And just for that I’m grateful. 

Like every year and every year before it, it’s been a roller coaster of a year. Some of the highest highs and lowest lows. But through it all we have remained together continuing to concur every single obstacle, some put their head down and some swear to get through it. But together hand in hand and leaning on each other we made it. 

In 2025 I have hope that things will level out and we will ride the wave of normalcy but honestly it’s been so long I don’t know what normal looks like or even feels like. But that’s okay, even through it all I find happiness in the little things and the small moments where I see love surrounding myself and everyone else who I hold dear to my heart. I see others thrive and flourish and it brings me a happiness that fills my heart almost as if we did it together. 

I have never endured my hardest battles and hard days by myself. I’m grateful for that simple sentence. Those who stand next to me are never silent, always saying into the world what sometimes I just can’t find the strength to say. To speak words of encouragement or positivity when I fail to see the bright side. Speaking of my strengths and abilities when I sometimes forget everything I’m capable of. It’s easy to look down at the ground and put my head down with everything life throws at me, constantly humbling me reminding me that my life has sometimes been an uphill battle to just simply breathe and exist among my peers and my loved ones. 

This year, there has been good moments that I hold on to. Good memories that fill my head at night when the depression creeps in trying to steal my happiness. Those moments are like a light that shines bright defeating the evil that lurks in the corners of my brain. 

Along with the memories are the bonds and relationships that I have strengthened this year. I feel like they came in my life when it was needed. Not because I was sad or needed the support but possibly because I needed to shift my thoughts and the way I perceived some of my biggest struggles. I’m a very fortunate person in many aspects of my beautiful life. 

Yes,despite so much I have a beautiful life. The love I receive is the kind of love that makes you a different person. The kind of person whose cup is so full that I have the pleasure of filling others cups for the simple reason that I can and it brings me happiness. 

Happiness. That’s what I wish for you in 2025

Hey dad

 Hey dad. Remember that time I was sick and you crawled in bed with me and held me so tight that I wasn’t scared. 

I remember being so comforted by your presence and your calmness. You stay cool under pressure and I did not get that from you. lol, sorry mom. I remember the whole process scary and daunting. I don’t think I ever realized how sick I was until it was to late. I remember calling you before being treached, you were so calm. Saying you would be there as soon as you could. I barely remember that call. It came back to me after the fact. But before I was put on the vent, you weren’t there. And I’m glad you didn’t experience that. I remember the first time seeing you after the transplant. You sneaked in, and although I couldn’t tell you I was thrilled to see your face in those yellow gowns. Yellow isn’t a good color on you btw. I smiled so big. I was in pain and unhappy but your face is so bright and vivid in that memory 

Daddy’s little fighter is what you use to say in updates and texts. And although I didn’t think I was that strong I surely proved myself wrong, but looking back I had it in me long long before. 

Hey Dad. Remember when I was in the hospital and you would come down and spend some time just the two of us. It was always my favorite cause I usually had your attention. We would go for walks. And the one time we broke out and went to get ice cream. Oxygen and all. 

Little did we know in a matter of months we were fighting for our lives, that hospital stay was a struggle. I started using oxygen full time and my home address was in San Diego. Not at home with you. But we still managed to have our dates just with an oxygen tag along 

Some times I don’t know how i got through that time Dad. As much as I was your “little fighter” I was tired. But a miracle happened 

Tears rolling down my face as I wrote this. It’s another Father’s Day I get to celebrate you. I thank my donor every day because I just don’t know how to live without you and thankfully I never have to worry about that again hopefully for a long time. 

 I love you daddy always have and always will. You will forever be my number one guy. The first love is a daughter and her father. And how lucky am I, that God saw me and knew I belonged with you. 

My mama

  My mama is my rock. Someone who isn’t even a 0.1 % replaceable. My mom is better than yours. There isn’t a point in arguing that with me because I have seen my mom go beyond measures to keep me alive.  Not even happy. Just alive and breathing. I have seen the fear and worry in her eyes as the light faded from my face but I never saw her step away from the roll she was destined to be. A mama.  I always worried if something happened to me how would he still be a mama to Aaron. And as I sit and think about that sentence in pure logic. That’s who she is. She was born to be a mama and nothing could take that away from her. She is a natural. Everyone is her child. I have seen her mother countless “strays” but always the same she gets attached and loves them and they love her back because they never had a mama like her. She’s kind. To a fault. Smart to the point where you have to take a Second look at her because you’re just amazed. Funny. She will make you laugh so hard that you cry. Just her being her. And I love when we have those moments. Those are the core memories where I step back and thank god. I thank god for giving me back to my mom whole and new. I thank god for giving her the strength to love me and raise me unconditionally and in my opinion to be a pretty rad human. That she’s my favorite person who I never seem to get tired of. When I lived in the hospital she made that drive and put a smile on her face everyday just to see me smile knowing so much was against us but that smile every day walking through the door gave me life and hope. I knew what I was facing but if my mom could walk in with that beautiful smile I knew we were okay. Her and I would get through this together side by side and like I hoped only made us stronger and closer. Maybe with some trauma but what’s a little trauma between family. So tonight I’m laying in bed thinking about my worst days and remembering the shining light who loved me through life and death. My mama. My mother. My mom. My best friend who’s my ride or die. To my mom; We made it together and you make me proud everyday. Stay sassy. Stay rageful. Stay amazing And you will always have the love of a daughter who thinks the world revolves around you. 

 Xoxoxo