Thursday, December 19, 2013

part 2

As I suspected I'am a super hero. 
I knew I had pneumonia and my X-ray confirmed it. I can't explain the feeling of knowing something is wrong with your body it's like a whole different sense. It's weird but I'm glad I have mastered my super hero skills. All I need is tights and a cape (hint! hint! I want a cape!) 
My lung function took a hit as I knew it would. 45%. The lowest I have ever been. It's hard not to take that number and not let it consume me. It took a lot of me not to cry when I saw that number. That was 3 weeks on ivs. Talk about a blow to my ego and lungs. 
Fast forward to now and numbers are up to 57%. After 4 weeks of ivs 2 oral antibiotics and a round of steroids. We're giving my body time to get all the medicine out and let the kidneys and liver detox and we will start over in a month. We will just hope for better results the second time around. 
I'm struggling friends...I just can't keep doing everything I'm asked and keep going down hill. I'm trying to find patience in this mess but all I'm coming up with is anger and frustration. I get like this at times. You have to loose yourself today if your ever going to have it all together tomorrow. 
It's Christmas time and I wish I had joy and all that crap but I don't have it I'm just glad to be here and that's good enough for me. 
Peace love and hello kitty 
Xoxo Jess 

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