Thursday, November 17, 2011

Dear Matthew

Dear Matthew
Your working hard tonight like almost every night; and well I'm working hard on going to bed. Do you remember one of our first dates and I told you that I was sick and couldn't promise to grow old with you? You grabbed my hand and told me you wanted to spend "our" days together taking care of me. Remember? I bet you never thought it would be like this did you? Me either. One of our first fights I told you to leave now it would be easier on both of us and you stood there and told me you would never leave me. I lied and so did you...I said I wanted you to leave...I never meant it. And well you left years later. I cried and cried and I tried to hate you for leaving and honestly it was easy for a little...but I never was able to move past the good times and accept we were over. I still remembered our first vacation to Solvang and our first holidays and the time spent in hospitals for doctors or port accessing or even those few hospital stays. I use to tell you that you were my sunshine my only sunshine and that was so true cause when you were gone I was at my darkest days. You came back and sometimes I ask myself why...but everyday I'm thankful for you coming back to me and loving me at times when I'm unlovable. I will spend everyday thankful that I have you...hand in hand we will always walk and no matter you will forever be my sunshine. Forever and a day

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