Saturday, June 23, 2012

Only the good die young

I wrote this on the one year anniversary of my friends passing. I just am now posting it.

After being diagnosed with Cf after I was 10 I never imagined I'd live to be 25. I thought I would graduate high school have a couple years and move along. As morbid as that sounds I was okay with that. I knew the future is never promised to anyone and why would I be the lucky one? After I turned 22 I realized someone and I were not on the same plan. And at 25 I'm realizing I think I might be in this for the long haul. But you don't know my burden of this disease physically and emotionally . To see things and your mind goes to the worse...those thoughts are my burden but in reality it's exactly that. Real. I remember sitting one day with my mom looking at cars and I always felt like when I left and moved on my car would be something to treasure and I could see my parents holding tight to this one thing that was truely and really mine. And I turned to my mom and said..."when I die make sure so and so gets my jewelry armoire (I'm not telling you who so they can be Suprised) see that was morbid but I laughed as I wrote it like when I die I want my things auctioned off like guess what you got!!!!! Your the proud winner of (fill in the blank) and the people I don't like will get something stupid like a shoe. Just a single shoe. One. Haha seriously I'm on a good one tonight. But I'll leave on a more serious note

Dear Megan
1 year! How is that possible. I miss you and I wish you were here to talk to me sometimes I think your the only one who got my humor. I wish I knew what heaven was like. I kinda wish you could put a good word in for me and maybe I'll meet up with you. I mean If you like it it couldn't be that bad. Know you are loved and missed I smile every time a lady gaga song comes on but part of my heart breaks at that same moment. You were gone to soon...it's like the song says only the good die young. Miss you xoxox Jess

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