Sunday, July 8, 2012

Just my update

I'm sick again but I think this time its much worse. I'm physically ill but I'm emotionally ill. I spent all day at kaiser Thursday and even though I knew what the day was going to be like. I didn't. I didn't expect it to be that bad. I'm just tired of doing the same thing over and over again. Iv antibiotic after antibiotic to feel better for a little then back to being sick. I just wish I could have a break cause as we all know if it's not one thing it's another.

I had an appointment with audiology and ENT. Just as I had suspected my hearing has gotten worse but nothing to be concerned about right at this min. It's just hearing

ENT my least favorite appointment ever was as I expected. Painful. I had sinus surgery may of 2011 and it was supposed to make a difference but no it didn't. I'll admit I should of been better about the rinses and I paid the price. I now have polyps in my right nose hole and that's new completely. I just want to scream but I can't I cannot physically bring myself to scream. But I cried and I still cry. I'm struggling I have been struggling and in just waiting to catch my breath and find some solid ground to stand on. And If that wasn't enough of a shitty day it ended with a massive blood coughing fit coughing up the most blood I have ever coughed. The feeling of the blood coming through your lungs is a feeling of torture and all you want to do is breathe but when you breathe you cough and when you cough you get more blood.

Nobody wins in that situation.

Make it more of a hard hit I knew I was sick I just didn't know I was this sick. I wish everyone knew how good I'am about hiding how I feel cause even if I told would believe or understand. No body knows

So this is the catch up on me and my health. I'm hoping I catch a lucky break but as always I'm not holding my breath.
Only high light was riding the merry go round at Griffith park. Matthew was kind enough to ride with me for safety reasons of course ;)

1 comment:

Nikki Riddle said...

Hang in there Jessica. I can only imagine how frustrating it must be -- I saw the frustrations in my husband day after day and I truly am sorry your going through a rough time. You're in my thoughts!!


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