Monday, July 2, 2012

Is this real?

That feeling of being uneasy is starting to take over me. The point where you think you're sick but maybe it's not that bad and before you know it you have convinced yourself you don't need to go to that appointment.

Something is off. I feel it in my lungs. I know my lungs they are going to be the death of me (haha) my right lung obviously hates me and is punishing me. Between the chest pain and the coughing up blood I really feel like there is no hope for us ever becoming friends again.

My sinus' they are the wild child every parent prays they don't get. But no not me I got the rebellious sinus' that we're sent hear to destroy me.

I have moments where I just need to know I'm going to be okay. The uncertainty of cf is awful. The good days and bad days are hard. to feel good one day and like crap the next is like having someone blow out your candles. There is nothing left. Some days I feel so good that I believe this (cf) is a bad dream and I'm waiting to be woken up...but like always something will happen where I get slapped in the face and I realize this is real so very real and the thought of it being a dream is unreal to me.

Sometimes life feels unreal.

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